Death is Imminent

So the next four months before I leave for the TFA Institute are going to fall into a few distinct categories: 1. Cool medieval shit I learn in classes. 2. Completing my Madison “bucket list” and saying goodbye to the land I love.  and 3. Freaking the heck out over Oklahoma.  I’d say the following fits into the later category.

Check it out, people:

I don’t know about you, but I was severely psychologically traumatized by the movie Twister as a child.

Wisconsin gets enough tornadoes to permanently instill the Fear of God in you, it is true.  The fear that God will quite literally reach down and smite your tiny ass is ever-present when it’s not overshadowed by the fear that God will bury you alive in 4,000 tons of frozen water.  But let’s be honest, in truth tornadoes in Wisconsin are relatively few and far between.  It’s like the fear is there, but we’ve painted over it with a few coats of braggardly self-confidence: Tornados? Pshh, those happen to other people, not to educated city folk like me.

So what happens when an overconfident Wisconsinite moves to Tulsa, Oklahoma, whose tornado count is apparently so high, it can only be capped by the “greater than” symbol? (see above. then see below.)

The chance of God smiting you in Oklahoma:

YES > NO

I’m starting to understand why there are so many crazy christians in the “bible belt”.  At any moment God could just reach down and go SQUISH.

And don’t even get me started on this map:

There are two things I fear in this world: Fundamentalists and Tornadoes.  Consider me unsettled.

*afterword:

Just give me a few days to freak out, and then I’ll inevitably start looking on the bright side.  I swear.

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~ by Rachael on January 20, 2011.

One Response to “Death is Imminent”

  1. Hi Rachel,Congratulations for getting into Teach for America! I am happy for you. I lived in Kansas for 9 years and saw tornadoes myself. Fortunately, they don’t happen every day. Blessings on your preparations for this next phase of your adventure!

    Lynne

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